Chutes and Ladders

It’s interesting 
How you punish yourself for it 
But then you’re back at it again 
Does that mean you’re bad 
Does that make you good? 
Do we even have control 
Of what we feel or how we should? 
Do you deserve to be punished? 
When you can’t help but repeat your sins 
When does this game get over?
The winner never really wins.

I didn’t choose to play 
I roll the dice 
I climb a ladder 
I fall down the chute 
Training in this cadre
Again again again 
I want out 
The sad turns sadder
Knowing I have to gamble myself away '
Again again again.