Category: Poems

Everytime our lines go cold
I grow a little afraid
I think
Maybe this was the last chance I had
To prove the fool my heart has made
Everytime we end our conversations
I think the end is near
It usually never is
But this time
This time, I fear
I know, or atleast I think
I think the end is here
But then I spoke to you today,
And I thought I proved myself wrong.
Yet, as we spoke
I realised what I had perhaps known all along
I will always be a friend to you
I’ll always have a friend in you
It just took me a while to see
What it is we already feel
The end is not a moment.
It is not a destined time, nor a final day
It is just when two people
Who loved but outgrew each other
Go their separate way
As I spoke to you,
I knew
That I loved you once before
And that I love you still
But the way I loved you once before
I perhaps never again will.

I missed my train,
To wait for you.
When you came,
As you always do
You took the next one,
Leaving me at the station.
So I ran and ran,
Heart in hand,
Teary-eyed,
Face in sand,
Telling myself you must not have noticed me standing there for you.

But I know,
That as you brushed me by
You waited for me to meet your eyes
So you could see me 
Try to conceal my surprise
As I watched you walk away, again.

I heard someone say
That the one in love wins
No matter if he loses
For loving is a winner’s sin
But I am no winner
For no matter the trains I have to miss
I lose myself to take your side
Denial is a river
And I'm swept 
And I’m lost
And I drown in your tide.

I'm afraid I'll only learn 
When all the trains I could have taken
Leave me 
At this empty station.
When all the times I could have run
I ran to the bullet 
Instead of away from the gun.

The one in love so rarely wins
The truth is
Loving is but a loser’s sin.

The Sun shines a sharp

Sickly bright

I’m caressed in artificial yellow light.

The wind carries the smell of rain.

You hold onto my tears

Then shed them on this ungodly plain.

I tell myself-

I am free

But I see only what you want of me

You switch these sets when I’m sleeping

But I always hear your footsteps creeping

I have no choice

No red. No blue.

My life is just this game to you.

You call this prison,

This Hell- my shrine.

The truth is,

I was yours before I was ever mine.

I’m changing myself
I can’t recognise
She has my face
It’s an ugly disguise
All the lies that I tell
I’ve been put on the shelf
They’re bidding for us
And I’m never going to sell

I feel this shame
Knowing that we’ll never be seen the same
And that I resent you for it
And that I blame this game
This game
That you’re not even playing
But somehow still winning.

I resent that word
And all it entails
But I strive and kill myself to be called
The winner.
The winner takes it all
And where there’s a winner, there is someone who has lost.
Who am I to deny
The loser takes the fall.

In my mind it’s all the same

Years and years-

Seated at the same game

If I’m being honest though,

I’m afraid I don’t talk about you enough

And that maybe not now

Not today, but soon

I’ll slowly forget these pieces of my past

Because from what I’ve been told

It likely doesn’t last

But as I find myself writing to you

These letters, these words-

I know that you knew

Through it all,

All I could ever need you to.

Letters to you,

Letters from me,

Unanswered yesterday,

Today will be the same.

The steel that burns my skin
The scrap of metal?
That is but pathetic proof of vengeance, undeserved.
Worldly show for what you call your honour.

Lie again, lie again.
Say you loved me.
Lie again.
Twist your steel into my back
And then - 
Pretend you love me still.

my hands are stained with blood, 
i can only pray it isn’t yours; 
i’m drunk on low self-esteem, 
drifting from these shores, 
my mind - the sail - is full. 
the wind is blown.
the seeds of this sunken ship are sown.

i hold my hand out in the light,
my fingers tremble, palms unsteady;
the blood sits in its crevices tight.
i frantically rub my hands in sea,
the waves, the salt, wash over me;
yet my hands—not coarse—stay bloody pale.

i think, it is too late,
the blood has filled my lines of fate.
i try to paddle back to shore,
Yet, my mind - the sail - is full.
the wind is blown.
the seeds of this sunken ship are sown.

I see the pattern in the snow

I watch it change

I watch you go

You walk over this barren land

You crush the ice –

The castles of this bleached white sand

Everything we tried to build

You seem forgetful of the cost

But then again

All we ever really built

Is a home –

This home of frost.

Waiting to be torn by wind

Waiting for the snow to rescind

Waiting to see you leave and then,

It’s never long, you’re back at it again

Forgetful, forgotten

Forgetting the cost,

Shouldn’t have made homes of frost.

You’ll do it again

You’ve done it before

Everything you promised for

All is gone – there’s nothing left

There’s nothing left here anymore.

I leave the door open 
For you, at night 
I'm not afraid of the dark when 
You bring your light 
And I pretend it's you 
In the small things I see 
Although it never is, 
It doesn't hurt to believe 
I pretend you read 
These words I write 
Although that's expecting too much 
But just in case you might 
I want to ask you 
How you're doing 
How life is 
Atleast how the bit after is going 
Time really does fly 
And so for now, all this is
Is a temporary goodbye 

I'll write again soon 
You know I always do.

Letters to you,
Letters from me.
Unanswered yesterday, 
Today will be the same.