Author: admin

The blood had turned into a dry clot

Of ugly red streaks

Coloured black with ash in the cavities of his leg

And compacted with pieces of glass,

from their favorite China window

Light shone through the gashes in his arm

He could see it flicker as he reached out to touch her head,

Trying to draw her attention without making a sound

But she didn’t turn

Her hair was bleached in the blend of dust and smoke and wooden shards,

That had erupted around them

And her face was fused into the ground, her fingertips cemented into the crevices of the plastered floor

As though the heavens, wished to hide her eyes from the reality around her

They graced her with the gift of an early sleep

She was still young, and he could see that they had allowed her to take the little doll

which she was grasping with her free thumb,

the one he had bought for her at the fair a year prior.

He could not bear to watch, but could neither bear to look away

His head fell back, colliding with the frames which had fallen from the walls

And he heard the glass of their pictures, their memories, crack beneath his head

And he prayed and prayed and prayed

Chanting under his breath, he had no desire to stay

He begged with a lone tear, that the demons take him away.

Join me, Mama,

I say.

I will, my darling, till then why don’t you pick out some flowers for me?

I run and pick up a lily from the ground

The petals are fraying, the white is washed down

But holding steady, they don’t fall.

They sway to the sound,

Sway to my call.

And so, I run back, after her again

Watching as the strands of her hair fly quietly.

Come on Mama,

I say.

My voice echoes for a moment,

And, impatient,

I pull at the flower

The petals split and circle there, above her

She looks up- and for a while, she stares

I will, my darling, just wait for me there.

When the wind tides this hollow sea,
And the sky sets loose its torrents free,
You’ll Know, Luna;
It’s time to hide now.
Find your comfort in the shadows of these clouds,
But don’t ever fear to be found.

Luna, this world of ours sways and rocks,
Its secrets barred with keyless locks -
Untethered and unpardoned,
Never unburdened.
This world of ours is hard to break,
Yet splinters still with each mistake.

But you’ve already caught this glance.
You somehow always seize your chance,
Don’t you, Luna?
Even when they try to shut you out?

You’ll Know, Luna
Even the rain aches for drought.

This world of ours, it haunts you deep.
Your cries are drowned by soundless sleep.
Who are you to them after all?
Don’t wait for them, Luna, to break your fall.

As salt tears shatter this cornerstone,
The first rain breaks down its skylit home.
This has only proved to be

A figment of some parody—
We are brave, but we aren’t strong.
Luna, your light hid our lies far too long.
And so, the only right we know is the same blatant, daring wrong.

But You’ll Know, Luna
Sometimes hiding will suffice.
One day you’ll watch, as their sins pay their price.

And so, if someone asks,
Hold the same advice.
Tell them, Luna, of your sacrifice,
And make sure he hears the words you say

Let them echo in his golden grey-
“Turn away, child, whilst you still can.
Live, without question,
In this delusion of man.”

All I see

Is the same balding men

The same crooked grins

The same graying beards

The same evil sins.

Telling the woman

They couldn’t sell themselves to buy

That her nose is aloof

Or her legs should be slender

Her face is pleasant

But her voice isn’t tender.

It’s the same white-haired men

With the same hoarse voice

With the same ego lessons

On how the man has the choice.

It’s the same fifty-year-old man

Acting as though he’s fifteen

Teaching fifteen-year-old boys

That the women are keen

They come running, so don’t be afraid.

But then, how come you sleep night after night

Without your own

willing maid?

When tall buildings come crashing down,

red brick – red soil –

Can you tell them apart?

When roads split as lightning cracks,

black tar – black mantle –

The colour it anyway lacks.

When the sky collapses,

the Earth turns blue –

Was the Earth not blue before?

Somewhere in the grey and black,
Knowing you're not coming back
All that I'm left to have
Is this empty space
And when something becomes all you have
It becomes something you embrace

And so I long desperately,
Long for it to stay
While my time 
And all the rest of me,
Slowly still efface.



And in my head,
I'm whole again.
I talk to you,
Consoled again.
All my thoughts,
All my mind-
We have conversations all the time.


 
Still, I write the words to you
The words I think you already knew
In another one of my letters.

Letters to you,
Letters from me,
Unanswered yesterday,
Today will be the same.

Holes in my sweater

Through which the light strings through,

No longer resonating in the air but drowned in this strange cold

A cold I know, so strangely familiar.

And so, I don’t ask. 

Instead-

Knowing it, I cannot help but wonder

I wonder whether this cold belongs to me alone

But then-

I look up and see his face-

Cracked and broken 

A single tear stubbornly hung on his cheek

He falls to his knees

Not the person I knew but

But wizened and weak.

With his sounds drowned in my doll-eyed sleep

…

And then, as I’m told it happens

The colours slowly drain 

The white turns grey

Black shapes form before me

My vision begins to fray

Covered in nature’s depressing home

This home.

My home.

I’m home.

I once was seen in each turn of their smile,

I once was felt at each dinner night.

When together they huddled,

And for a while,

Forgot all about the broken chandelier light.

But the flicker soon grew relentless,

It left this home dark and contentless.

It left the floors cracked and cementless.

Standing on a weak foundation;

They crumbled like I, the picture on the wall,

And as it happens, in these piteous crimes,

They faltered, they forgot.

Forgot all about the good times.

Now I hang loose, one end tilted.

Nobody bothered fixing me,

And the painted flowers have wilted.

The only thing that governs this plane,

Is the broken chandelier and its flickering pain.

Who are you?
Because we are not the same
One side of the mirror looks at me in disgust,
The other side, in shame.

Who are you?
A girl with no voice,
Mouth taped with invisible adhesive;
Feet bound without choice.

Who are you?
I ask yet again.
You are not deserving
Of the cruelty of these men

Who are you?
Because we are not the same
I want you to speak up
You shrink back into your chain

Who are you?
Does it matter?
Who is it you want to be?
It’s okay to be scared
But it’s not okay to cover your eyes 
And pretend you do not see.

I'm losing my mind,
I'm losing my direction,
I look in the mirror,
I've already lost my reflection.

The ice that I stand on
Is barely any deep
And although the water is frozen
The torrent is only asleep

I stand on slippery ground
That you may regard me
A coward or a fool
I collapse before taking a step
I've already decided
The shards must crack beneath my feet
My fate, my will, my mind.
Is sealed.
My life and all my sins
All of it is repealed.

That's it.
It's over.
I got drunk on my vices,
It's a moral hangover.

I'm losing my mind,
I'm losing my direction,
I look in the mirror,
I've already lost my reflection.